the celebrity of cannibalism
and the nastiest dessert I've ever seen...
Welcome back to my subscribers, and hello if you’re new here. To recap, this blog is for me to spread misinformation online and give myself the opportunity to strongly state my opinions into a vacuum. If you want to read, comment, or join the debate, please feel free. I haven’t lost an argument so far.
This week, as you can see by the title, we’ve got a very unique combination of topics, that I promise, all connect. Starting with the most obscure, we have this horrendous dessert ordered by my friend Zoe at a local cafe/bakery. For the privacy of this cafe, and for the sake of whatever business they may lose because of this post, I have chosen not to identify them by name.
This monstrosity is a banana red velvet chocolate rum bread pudding, also known as raw, human muscle with bone chunks (colorized). And while I observed my close friend eat the most haunting dessert of my life, it linearly became a reminder that many people truly enjoy the taste of human flesh. So, that’s how we got here.
Recently, Netflix released Dahmer - Monster: The Jeffrey Dahmer Story, which really takes the whole glorification of serial killers to the next level. We all know Evan Peters as the man who made a school shooting a sexy thing to reblog on Tumblr, but I can’t believe he managed to make something more tone deaf than that. I have refused to watch the show, but according to my friend Camila, “it’s like just him shirtless dancing at a gay club.” And look, if you want to be mad I haven’t seen the show, having an opinion on something I know very little about is quintessential to this blog. Now, this is not to say we can’t cast conventionally attractive men to play conventionally attractive serial killers, but the movie definitely has a different message than it’s twin flame My Friend Dahmer starring Ross Lynch.
Here’s the key difference: Ross Lynch’s performance wasn’t for the sake of being anything other than a chilling retelling of Dahmer’s high school friendship. In the same way, even Zac Efron (heartthrob for everyone from kindergarten to hospice care) was able to safely toe the line playing Ted Bundy in Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile because the narrative focused on the effects of his crimes on the victims and his wife.
Ultimately, there is an obvious connection between the release of these films and television shows and the fame or excitement surrounding the killers. Why else then, would TikTok creator @jakewebber9 purchase a cake cutter from Jeffrey Dahmer’s personal collection, complete with a certificate of authenticity? There are plenty of people who tried to stop things like this from happening too, namely Joseph Zilber, a philanthropist from Milwaukee, who attempted to purchase all of Dahmer’s belongings that were auctioned off and sent them straight to a landfill. Suffice it to say, Zilber could never have anticipated the public or the entertainment industry’s lack of consideration for the victims and their families.
So, how do we make a movie about serial killers and not have to worry about it being offensive or glorifying the killings? Make the Muppets version. No, I’m just kidding. MAKE THEM UP!!!
No one needs to be cancelled for having a crush on Mads Mikkelson as Hannibal or Sebastian Stan in Fresh because there are no real victims. Should we maybe judge them for these choices? Absolutely. And okay, is it not hilarious that Stan’s first canon human consumption in the movie is literally the butt, like legit posterior, of Daisy Edgar-Jones? And somehow she runs away at the end of the movie, completely ass-less. Both of these movies - not films - dive into the deep errors of the psyche that it takes for someone to kidnap and eat people, without violating any boundaries. Fictional serial killers are okay in my book, but maybe this all wraps around to the desensitization of murder and heinous killings from true crime…which we’ll save for later considering I know I have lots of enemies on this front.
Honestly, speaking of eating people. It’s time to address the elephant in the room. Consensual cannibalism. For those unfamiliar with Armin Meiwes, he is a German man of international fame after he was sentenced to life imprisonment for murdering and eating a voluntary victim. I truly cannot bear to retell this section of Meiwes’ story, as I could not possibly come up with a more ridiculous sentence than this 2003 article from The Guardian:
“On the evening of March 9, the two men went up to the bedroom in Meiwes’ rambling timbered farmhouse. Mr. Brandes swallowed 20 sleeping tablets and half a bottle of schnapps before Meiwes cut off Brandes’ penis, with his agreement, and fried it for both of them to eat.”
Wow. What more can I say except: what about free will? Can the government violate our privacy and send us to jail for simply wanting someone to eat us? Let’s make a comparison. Holding someone hostage and kidnapping them is a crime, but if it’s a fetish that you do in the privacy of your own home with mutual consent, it’s okay! So why can’t someone eat me if I give them my express permission? His victim had made multiple online postings, seeking out someone to eat his penis and even gave video consent, which was played before the court. Meiwes is still behind bars, and here’s my little opinion - what he did is without a doubt weird and gross, but if Brandes wanted it, I don’t think life imprisonment is a fair outcome. Maybe like, five years and intense psychotherapy.
See you next week!